Regression

Bringing home your new baby is an exciting and overwhelming experience to say the least. Bringing home your second baby when you have a toddler at home, that is a whole new can of worms. I really thought that all of us were completely prepared for baby Julia to arrive, even Emily. I had no idea just how naive I was being about this process. I have been so worried, angry, frustrated and scared this past week that I finally realized I won't feel any better until I talk it all out. Even if no one ever reads this.

This past week has been particularly challenging in regards to Emily's behavior and the balancing act I now call life. I returned to work this past Monday which in all honestly I thought I would not make it through the day. I have to admit that Monday came and went rather unceremoniously as it usually does. I even managed to keep myself from calling Kate a million times that day. Instead I only texted her once and it was well after lunch. That right there is some sort of miracle in and of itself.

Now up until this past week Emily was only having what I would call minor behavioral issues. I suppose to really understand the issue that is currently brewing in our home you would have to know that Emily has been completely potty trained for at least 3-4 months prior to Julia's birth. I do mean COMPLETELY, no accidents day or night at all, like ever! Now that you have the back story I will proceed. Once we brought Julia home Emily started to have some issues, which we expected and I thought I was prepared for like I said earlier.

At first she started with temper tantrums and crying or pouting at the drop of a hat. For the most part we decided to ignore this behavior when it occurred in hopes it was purely attention seeking and would stop if she did not get the desired results. She also started asking us point blank for attention, usually to the effect of " mommy i need attentions". This I obliged, each time she asked we tried our best to give her a few direct moments. I guess I thought if she was going to ask politely then there was no harm in giving in to her requests. Unfortunately not long after that we began having a problem with back talking and general disrespect of authority figures. I am so embarrassed by this one I mean I find it truly shameful as a parent. This I had to stop immediately, so any instances of this have been met with disciplinary measures. Which to be perfectly honest haven't show a great deal of results to this point which only adds to my frustration and self doubt. I find Emily a difficult child to discipline i have yet to find what truly motivates her. As if this wasn't enough to deal with in our sleep deprived and weary state, she then hit us with the big guns, potty training regression.

*** Now from this point on I will be blatantly discussing potty training issues, so warning there may be some TMI for some people ***

This has been so very difficult, I mean y'all it's been like multiple outfits a day. I have found myself getting so frustrated and even to the point of outright anger towards her behavior. These accidents are not like " I waited too late and didn't get to the bathroom in time" oopsies. It's more like "I'm gonna stand right here in front of the toilet and pee myself, what are you gonna do about it?" I mean like a full bladders worth down into the socks and shoes. To the point that I have no choice but to strip her down and give her a bath. In fact today not only did she pee her pants during naptime ( the soaked socks ad shoes kind) she also pooped her pants, I mean POOPED y'all! This was not like I had a little accident no this was a full "movement" per say in her pants. The worst part is I know she had to be awake because her room was destroyed with toys everywhere from where she had obviously been playing instead if napping. When I found her this way I almost went ape mad. When I asked her why she didn't come tell someone she needed to go potty her answer was " because I did". I mean really? REALLY? I had to bite my lip to avoid spewing out anger that looking back was clearly misplaced and I'm so glad that I didn't unfairly lash out at the poor girl.

I have no idea what to do with that. We had a long talk about how mommy and daddy were disappointed in her behavior. Nothing seems to work lately, she goes back to the same behavior not 5 minutes after being in trouble. I think a good portion of this boils down to Emily's personality, she is a sensitive child with a very sensitive heart. Much like I was as a child I desperately wanted everyone to love me all the time and to please everyone. In some ways like this we are so similar but in others we are so different, I see a strength in her that I myself have never possessed. She is so strong and resilient and I hope I can do my best to nurture these qualities equally so that she becomes the truly extravagant young woman I know she will be. The world needs to look out because Emily is coming! :)

Defining "working mother"

Today was my first day back to work. Man! I forgot how enjoyable my job can be. I was so focused on missing my girls. I was quite proud of myself that I only texted Kate once to check on the girls. I'm actually quite surprised by that.

The day came and went so quickly! I hope I can keep this up and stay on track with home stuff too!

"Mommy? Do you love me?"

Zach took this picture of Emily playing while the sunshine streamed in through the window. He's a budding photographer I think.

This morning while in the bathroom helping Emily with her morning routine she stopped and asked, "Mommy? Do you love me?". Of course I immediately gave her a huge hug and reassured her that I love her "sooooo" much. But as I sit around this morning, her question is pulling at me.

I was already have some bittersweet moments these last few days as I prepare to return to work. This whole thing has caused me to worry about the girls when I return to work. I am terrified that especially Emily won't understand why mommy isn't home with her all day anymore. I was a sensitive child and Emily is definitely a sensitive child as well. She easily gets her feelings hurt and cries often over the smallest things. Granted she is two and some of that crying is her version of a temper tantrum.

A few shots of the two sisters.

I think all of these issues are the root cause of my disappointment in myself. I carry a huge emotional suitcase labelled "Stay at home mom". Obviously it is not in the cards logistically or financially for me to be a SAHM. I completely acknowledge that fact and have no problems with it.

Sweet baby girl, I found this shirt horribly appropriate for my girls.

However on the flip side I struggle with this fact as well. Maybe not so much that I am not a SAHM but that I have no desire to become one. It is a self imposed guilt cycle I have created. But I must admit I have wondered late at night how it will affect the relationship I have with the girls in the future.

One comfort I have is the bond that Zach has with Emily and Julia. They are definitely daddy's girls and that is such a wonderful thing to see. And as he reminded me this morning, "we don't know what their future holds, no one does". Smart man that one.

"Mommy, I wanna hold Baby Julia. She's my big sissa" I think she meant that she was the baby's big sister :)

"you can thank OBAMA for that!"

So I wanted to talk a little bit about an experience I had this week, the whole thing has stuck with me and I thought talking it out might help.

On Tuesday I went to the doctor for my 6wk follow up after having Julia. For the record that went fine, that is not where I had the "experience" to which I refer. But it does give light as to why I had the car and why I had to pick Zach up from school that day. We only have one car so there's a good bit of dropping off and picking up in our lives lately. Anywhoo...now that I've had a successful sidebar, back to the actual story.

On the way home from picking Zach up from school we stopped at Kroger, I needed some things to make dinner (Chicken fajitas, yum!) and I had a prescription to pick up that the doctor had called in for me earlier. So we get our few dinner ingredients and head over to the prescription counter. The cashier got my prescription and rang up my few items and gave me my total $4.27. My face must have looked absolutely crazy because without me saying anything the cashier immediately began to explain. She said " Under the new healthcare law there is no charge for birth control (BC)". Which would have been sufficient explanation for me but she then felt the need to add "You can thank OBAMA for that." in an extremely condescending and snarky tone. I really had no idea how to respond to that so I just thanked her for her service smiled and Zach and I went to the car.

Once we got in the car on the way home Zach brought up an extremely interesting point. His point was that the office of President of the United States does not get nearly the respect it deserves from the general public. He felt that since President George W. Bush there has been a growing social trend of calling the incumbent President simply by his last name which is bothersome to me.

Now I don't want a million comments getting into a debate on the merits or faults of the incumbent President or his policies or any of his predecessors.Also I will NOT be divulging my opinion on the President or any of his policies in this post. I am simply saying I agree with Zach's point that despite what you think of the man (or woman one day :) who holds the office, you should still afford the honor and respect that the office he (or she) was elected to holds. He is the President of the United States and will be for the next four years, it is appropriate to treat him that way. I am sick and tired of the derogatory tone that people use when referring to President Obama, ok so you don't like that man that's fine you don't have to talk down about him all the time. I really think there is a time and place to discuss your dissatisfaction with his policies or actions but those would hopefully be kept to productive discussion among peers that would lead to thought provoking discussion. With any luck that would lead to productive action towards change. Granted I realize the complete and total idealistic nature of that thought. But I choose to remain optimistic on the subject.

I think within the family group children often pick up on these strong opinions that their parents have simply because it is reinforced within the household. Though it's not always children, it spans across all generations often without anyone realize it is happening, I can say I have found myself guilty of this phenomenon as well. It took some self evaluation to realize I had no merit for feeling the way I did in regards to certain ideas or thoughts. I imagine this is all more common in our American subculture here in the south where family means everything to us. Zach could tell you that too many times he sees young children filled with not only dissatisfaction but outright hatred for people they don't know and over issues they don't understand simply because that is what they know from home. That breaks my heart! As a parent I can understand the desire to have your children share your ideals and morals but I also think they need to come to those in their own time and be free to develop other ideas that may not always line up with their parents. Differences in thought and opinion are what sparks ingenuity and growth in our culture.

I really feel there is not enough emphasis on tolerance in our society today. Unfortunately people still fear what is different and unknown for the most part.

Shhh.....be buhry buhry quiet, I'm hunting houses

So it's official, three years after marriage and two years after our first child we are finally going to buy a HOUSE!

I know most people will say that it's no big deal that it has taken us this long . "Everyone's life unfolds at different speeds" and "things happen for  reason" yadda yadda. But seriously, apartment living has been a serious anxiety point for me for the past two years, starting probably about six months after we brought Emily home.

My anxiety regarding apartment living probably all boils down to my overwhelming desire to "plant roots" in a very permanent way. In my amateur psychiatrist opinion, I think my  childhood experience of moving so often has created this desire in me. Now please do not get me wrong, I had a FANTASTIC childhood, and I firmly believe that I would not be nearly as close to my parents and brother if we had lived in one place my whole childhood. Moving every couple of years forced us together in a very intimate way. My mom was my best friend and my mother, and still is to this day. She's always the first one I tell anything to but there has always been this nagging desire to have a permanent place to call home. Because of this, my Meme's house, where I lived for 4 years during college will always be home to me, that is the closest up to this point that I have had a permanent residence.

A good example of  an anxiety trigger regarding this subject is the simple question, "Where are you from?" Those of you who grew up in the south know that when someone asks that question. They are not asking where do you currently live, but where do you call home? where did you grow up? Who is your family? Often in the south, once you answer that question it is followed by, "I have family in that area, are you related to the Smiths who live there?"

Consequently, "Where are you from?" is my least favorite "getting to know you" question. As long as I can remember my answer has been, "I'm not from anywhere, I"m a military brat", which is often followed by a swift "ooohh" to which to conversation falls completely dead. I know, great way to get to know people, right?

So needless to say I'm over the moon we are going to look at homes again now that we have overcome our previous barriers. It's funny when I tell people, they want to know "where are you looking?", and "what type of house are you interested in?". Of course, me being my brutally blunt and honest personality replies, "I just want four walls with roof over it that is not connected to anyone else's house". Which is completely true at this point, we could live in a hut in South Africa and I would be ECSTATIC. - Yes I know, overly dramatic, but then again when am I NOT overly dramatic?

So I will be keeping everyone posted on the updates regarding this little adventure. Needless to say I am on pins and needles. Luckily we have a GREAT realtors, I feel like we are in wonderful hands.

TTFN! :)

Tea for two and Two for tea

Today is Emily's second birthday. I'm sure if your a mother I don't have to try and explain how time truly flies by. It's a wonder what she has accomplished in just one year, I remember wishing she would walk on her last birthday. Now I  can't run fast enough to keep up with her.

I have been thinking about how to approach this post and I have decided to go with the letter format. Taking a nod from my good friend Sarah Denley's monthly letters to her children. I won't even attempt monthly because I would never make it on time, but let's hope I can try a yearly birthday letter. Or at least this year anyways...

This is Em and Me at her birthday dinner at Mellow Mushroom. 

Dear Emily,

You are two years old today. It is amazing to me to watch you grow into your own little person. Independent is the word I would use to describe you. Everything you do now you want to do on your own with out any interference from Mommy, Daddy or anyone else for that matter. You are quick to let us know that you did not want or need our help. It is cute but I have to admit I often find myself frustrated with your new found assertive nature. But I know you are just trying to learn and grow so I try my hardest to give you your space.

You are talking so much more, even though "no" is still your favorite word. As you daddy says you have a negative vocabulary, including the phrases "stop it" and "go away". Not to say that you don't use many other words or phrases you just seem to favor those three in particular. Lately you have been using whole sentences which is simply amazing to me. A few weeks ago you told me "I drop the color mommy" and I was simply mesmerized. Since only a few days before you would simply point and whine if you dropped something.

You have also become quite possessive of things and people. Everything belongs to you including Mommy, Daddy and Darby. You have told me many times " My Darby" , "My Daddy" or "My Mommy" but to be fair you do distinguish things that are not yours. An example would be when you told Darby "No Darby, that Mommy's juice" when he tried to sniff my glass of tea the other day.

You are so inquisitive and want to know how things work. It is wonderful to see how you mind works.

On the negative side I believe we have let you watch too much television. You sort of become a scary zombie child when I turn it on. You don't move or talk or anything, just watch the television "glued in". You have even started asking for shows by name, "Mommy, I watch my Elmo" which worries me a bit that I have over done it on the television. So I limit you to one or two shows all day, usually just one episode of Sesame Street,  which you don't seem to mind at all . I give myself a little bit of credit since they are at least educational shows, but I still hold a lot of guilt over how much television you are exposed to.  If the television is not on you just go play with your toys. I probably should have limited your viewing time a long time ago but it seems to be working out just fine now.

It is nice to watch you imagination, you play with your toys and talk to them. Sometimes I wonder what little stories you must have created. You also really enjoy books, one of your favorites is The Nose Book which is a little Dr. Seuss book you got for Christmas. You like for Mommy and Daddy to read it or sometimes you will "read" by yourself, pointing out all of the animals in the books. That is one of my favorite things that you do.

Daddy and I love to read books so we hope that you will love them as much as we do. This year has been so wonderful watching you grow and learn. I cannot wait to see the what wonderful things this next year holds for us.

Love always,
Mommy (and Daddy)

These are a few from Em's Birthday Dinner, Drinking from a big girl cup, Pouting because we took her big girl cup away after she spilled and enjoying her birthday pizza, respectively. 

We also took Emily to eat pizza at Mellow Mushroom on her birthday as a little treat to commemorate the actual day of her birth. We have planned a party with cake for Saturday on the coast at Meme's house.

You catch more flies with honey, than vinegar

Let's all take a moment and think about how times we've heard that phrase in our lives? I'm guessing quite a few, I have to admit I most often hear it as a comment on my current attitude. Basically a mom way of saying if you were nicer you might have gotten your way.

Luckily when I heard it today it was a description of my behavior, but a compliment as I was already being "honey" and not "vinegar".

That being said I really really dislike confrontation, to the point that I pretty much avoid it at all costs. Today I referred to myself as a "weenie" in this regard. I just really can't handle confrontation, and even worse to think I may have caused the issue to begin with. I will admit I have gotten better as I've gotten older but for the most part I am still a big "weenie".

Today was a perfect example. We live in a small apartment that is in an older building which often can leave a lot to be desired in a home. We have always had issues since we moved into the unit, in fact that day we moved in I found a leak where rain water was seeping into the wall. They did fix that but now I have this gorgeous water design on my bedroom wall.

Friday we came home to a flooded dining room floor, and yes the dining room is carpeted. So this was not the first time this had happened to us, we knew exactly what was causing our aquatic themed dinner. The drip pan for the hot water heater also collects the condensation drainage for the A/C. Well the drain gets clogged with dust of something and the pan fills up, overflows and then floods the apartment floors.

I had just had it. We found this on a Friday @ 5pm which means we get to wait all weekend to talk to someone in charge about these issues. The poor little maintenance guy who barely speaks english came and dried out the floor as best he could and left us with a floor fan to finish the job.

Well the apartment absolutely reeked after that, like a stale mildew/mold smell. No matter of febreeze could fix this smell. The longer I waited to speak to management the more upset I got. Like I said this has happened to us before, several times and each time no real permanent fixes have been offered up.

I looked up the corporate office's telephone number and called them. I was given an email address to the regional vice president of Heritage properties. I sent her a very lengthy email voicing my complaints and concerns and my demands I guess you would say, I read it like 20 times and then I clicked send.

Oh my goodness, my wimpy side lost it after that. I had a full blown anxiety attack once I realized what I had done in my moment of anger. I worried myself sick for about 45 minutes until she responded to me and there was no complaints or issues, just "Ok ma'am, I apologize, we will get this fixed ASAP." I was floored that she didn't argue back with me or make excuses. It was wonderful. They came and starting working on the apartment this afternoon and she called me to keep me informed as to the plan and their progress in solving our problem.

It is kind of ironic because I was really kicking myself for not being more "vinegar" in this situation and telling the property manager where she could stick it. I'm not sure why but I'm almost a little jealous of those who can "tell someone off", I honestly don't think I ever could.

Conviction

So lately a lot of things have been on mind, in fact I'd even say I've been convicted.

One of the most evident is that I have been convicted to once again try and get this blog going. I really have a problem with telling myself , "I'll do that tomorrow..." whatever it may be. Although I'll admit it's usually the things that require physical exhertion, like exercise or house work. I think if I just stick to blogging and really put myself out there I will feel more accountable for the promises I make to myself. I guess I feel like the invisible readers who may see this would be disappointed if they didn't one day read that I did in fact start a regular exercise regimen or whatever I promised myself I would do "one day".

I even have the "one day" list in a draft to be posted soon so everyone can see.

So here I am revamping this blog. I have taken a much more personal turn with the theme if you cannot tell by my decor and new name. I think people often get tired of hearing my long banter but it does me good to get it our there, even if "there" is cyberspace and some random stranger reads this, it won't really matter as long as the thoughts and ideas get out of my head. I've found I sleep much better getting all these thoughts out, so hopefully I can stick this. I am counting on all those who actually know me and read this to help a little, for those of you who know me best, consistency is not my best feature especially when it comes to starting something new.

And for my English major husband, grammar and writing are also not my strong suit. So you will see tons of comma splices', subject verb disagreement and various other horrible writing errors. Please be kind and overlook, thanks in advance.

So as the season of Lent is upon us I have been struggling on what I will commit to forgo for 40 days. I will tell you a little bit about what I decided but not everything. For you see I decided not to tell anyone what I am really doing for lent. This is probably a huge thing for me, because I cannot keep a secret or a thought to myself even if I was threatened with death.  Which I can tell you I already haven't kept this part of my vow since I told Karissa the other night. So I guess my new goal is to keep it to one person, see what I mean about consistency?

So back to the plan. I decide this year instead of "giving up" something, I was going to purposefully add something to my everyday life. No, blogging is not the thing I added, but once I added that one thing I became convicted to add another thing, and then another. It's very empowering to see yourself achieve these things that you constantly make excuses as to why you couldn't do them previously.

I also decided that I wanted to observe the "no meat on Friday" tradition of Lent. Now we are Methodist in denomination and that tradition is respected but not expected of our faith. There was no real faith based reason as to why I wanted to do this, I simply just wanted to experience it since I have never done it before. A little strange I guess, but I do find that I focus more on Christ and what His Passion really meant for me. Just to be clear, there is little to no sacrifice in eating fish on Fridays since I would eat fish every single day of the week for all three meals a day if I could. In fact, I think I did that when we were in the keys, this last time. Oddly enough, it seems to be doing the job it was meant for, although I have to admit that I have wanted a greasy cheeseburger a time or two. Poor Zachery has graciously agreed to join me in this dedication, so it's no meat in the Robert's home on Fridays until Easter. Then I'm assuming we will have steak to celebrate, :)

Will keep you posted on  my progress!

A Night of Laughter & Song

We went to this show at Christ United Methodist Church on Thursday March 1 2012.

For those of you who haven't been or who missed it. You missed a really great opportunity. Warren Barfield was a special guest as well, all three of them were great!

Warren started us off, you may or may not recognize his song "Love is Not a Fight" which I have added to my blog player, but it is also here in this video.

He is really a great artist, and also really a funny story teller. In addition to this tour, he has just completed a series of appearances with Kirk Cameron for the Love is Worth Fighting For - Marriage Tour. If you haven't read The Love Dare or seen the movie Fireproof, you owe it to yourself and your marriage. It will truly change your life and your spouse's life! But please don't think if your single it doesn't apply to you, I think the lessons learned are universal to all relationships in our lives.

Now I will admit there are times in the movie where the acting can fall into the "campy" category. But no matter what the message rings true and I really think it is worth your time.

Warren also talked about a cause that is close to his heart. He is spokesperson for Food for the Hungry and their sponsor a child program. As he said for the cost of  eating at Applebee's one time you can sponsor a child for a month. The stories he told about the poverty and disparity he has seen and how blessed we truly are here in America, it spoke to me.

While I'd like to say I signed up right away, I did not. I have talked to Zach about it, and I do really want to help, but no we have not gotten there yet. I hope we can commit to sponsor a child soon. I have it on my list and I will complete it! On another topic completely I am going to make "the list" a page on my blog to hold myself more accountable to my goals.

Natalie Grant performed next. Her voice truly is a git from God. She sang a couple of my favorite songs that night, but my absolute favorite of her songs (right now anyways). Is titled "Your Great Name".

Everytime I hear this song, I turn it up and sing along. Often in my car or office I sing along and have a praise a worship moment. Sometimes a song just comes along that truly strikes you and you feel closer to God when you sing aloud to him. For me this is that song. When we sang this song with Natalie the other night I could feel the presence of the Holy Spirit in the room. It was if no one was there but me and God, and Natalie of course since I wan't the one hitting those high notes, :) . It brought me to tears, it was truly a beautiful performance.

What I loved about Natalie was that even though she was in a room of over 200 people she was very down to earth and personable. She shared some very personal stories of her and her husband's struggle with fertility and pregnancy. She also shared her joys of her ever growing family, she used her experience to minister to the women there and to express her compassion for those going through those things she has been through. It made me respect her even more as an artist, because you could truly tell that she gave all the glory to God, always.

Finally was Chonda Pierce. Oh my goodness was she hilarious! She  had me laughing so hard I could not breathe at times. I wish I could remember some of the stories well enough to recount them to you. But it would lose something in the translation, and it's probably copyrighted or something. If you've never seen her stand up, give her a try. She's out of the box that's for sure, but then again what comedian isn't?

I really wanted to embed a video of some of her routine, but i couldn't find a good one on YouTube, but if you click on her name it's linked to her website and they have some really funny clips of her on there.

Overall the show was just great. Granted we got home at like 11 and I had to go to work the next day. But I thoroughly enjoyed myself and would gladly go again.
I'd like to attend more shows like this one, I had so much fun! :)

Btw, if you didn't notice the insane amount of links and video embeds, yes I have finally learned how to do that! LOL .

Trick or Treat!

So after being told that my blog has "gone the way of the Dodo bird", ( you know who you are! :p) I am once again reviving my little blog.

I have to admit for all I have been doing lately I'm kinda proud of myself, I looked back and last month I posted 3 times! Granted it's basically the last day of the month and I'm just now posting but Hey if I can get a once a month thing going I'll be thrilled. You'll just have to trust me that once a month is WAY more that I used to post on my old blogs.

So I have some great pictures for you guys this time. This year was the first year Emily really got to dress up and go Trick or Treat, we kinda held off until now where she would have some understanding of what was going on.

We were invited over to our friends house, since you really can't Trick or Treat in an apartment complex and we used their neighborhood as a surrogate. It was a wonderful experience, even if I was really cold and Emily ended up Trick or Treating via umbrella stroller, she seemed to enjoy holding the pumpkin bucket and letting people put stuff in it.

So here are some pics:

Here are the three kiddos that went, Peter Pan (including a Tinker Bell, look on his shoulder), Miss Ladybug and Mr. Bones.
This was the beginning of our stair photo session which produced some really great pictures, including this one of Miss Ladybug and Mr. Bones.

Once the adults starting picking up their coats and cameras little Miss Ladybug had figured out we are going outside! She started looking out the window and trying her hardest to open the door.

These are my favorite pictures from the night. I have a feeling these will be the ones I'll pull out in a few years when she's not as small. Maybe those teen years when she doesn't want Mommy and Daddy around. I'll sit and remember how cute she was. Gosh! I'm really getting ahead of myself! I'm so glad we still have one or two more years before that happens! I definitely will not rush her to grow up I still can't believe she's running around the house!

She walked to the first house with me and I got a few pictures of her Trick or Treat.

(I didn't realize this picture was being taken, so yes, I am indeed checking my cellphone, I just wanted to show how cute she looked walking house to house.)

Emily (Miss Ladybug) and Momma Halloween 2011. Poor baby she was so tired she just couldn't keep up, she was begging me to carry her. So I broke out the umbrella stroller (so glad I never go anywhere without it!) This is what our Trick or Treat really looked like...Mr. Bones in the wagon and us in our stroller.

 We had so much fun with our friends!

Happy Halloween Everyone!

Emily goes to the Zoo!

Nana and Papa took Emily to the Zoo, here are some pictures!

So if any of you live in the Metro area I'm sure you realize that the Jackson Zoo is no Audubon Zoo, but it's great for small children who really just get excited to see the animals!

First were the Giraffes

 We tried to have a theme going where the pictures clearly showed Emily looking at the animals.
Orangutans

Tigers

They even had a Papa on exhibit!

Z

Zach thought this picture was pretty funny, My dad (Papa) was in a walk through bird exhibit. Here is Emily and Nana in the same exhibit looking at some ducks, which aren't even in the picture. I have to say the animals were not entirely cooperative for cure photo opportunities that day.

Water creatures
Here's a turtle

Me and Emily in the viewing bubble looking at the beaver. She really thought this was neat.

Random water foul...I honestly wasn't paying attention...

So this picture is one of my two favorites from the whole trip. You can see Emily is bending down to try and look into the exhibit. It was so cute how she would bend over to look and see the animals.

So this picture here Emily and I are trying to find the otter that is supposed to be on exhibit here. Zach found him he was sleeping against an embankment and you could only see him when he poked his head up. But I really just love this picture, it's very cute, something I'll cherish for a long time. Zach is always good at getting these artsy photos, even if they are of my backside :P

About half way around the zoo Emily was getting really sleepy...

But we carried onward, Emmie and Papa saw the Kookaburra

Then Daddy showed her some Flamingos! (Grammy's favorite)

and Monkeys!

This is just one of the various monkey exhibits we saw but this is the cutest photo. She looks like she just wants to reach out and touch one! :)

There were times when we thought she would give in and take a nap

But she managed to hold it together and we made it to the petting zoo.

I was really surprised at her when she willingly touched the pot bellied pig. She likes cats and dogs but I just wasn't sure how she would react to a pig. But I should have known, Papa has been taking her to see the cows and I'm told she loves them.

Overall we had a really great day taking Emily to the zoo! Hopefully we can go again one day soon!

Remembrance

 "Today, our nation saw evil -- the very worst of human nature -- and we responded with the best of America. With the daring of our rescue workers, with the caring for strangers and neighbors who came to give blood and help in any way they could. " - President George W. Bush 9/11/2010

This past Sunday was the 10th Anniversary of attacks on the Twin Towers in New York City, New York, September 11, 2001. Most commonly referred to 9/11.

Many of my friends and family took a few minutes to post recalling the exact moment they learned of the tragedy, where they were and what they were doing. I tend to be one of those people who block out bad memories, so honestly I can only recall a few certain memories of that day. I remember that I was in 10th grade I was 15 years old, only 19 days away from my 16th birthday and it was my first year at a new high school, only a little over a month into the school year. I was sitting in my art elective, with Mrs. McCabe, I remember she was so sweet and quiet she was instantly one of my favorite teachers because she saw how painfully shy I was and she was so kind to me. I remember that she really helped my come out of my shell, through my terrible art, lol. But she never let me give up on my assignments. If you know me at all then you already know that I am so easy to catch a stomach bug. Well that day 10 years ago I'm not sure if it was a stomach bug or just nerves related to the new school year but I got terribly sick in front of the whole class, I know wonderful huh?

I'm not really sure of the timeline but I went to the nurses office and they called my mom and she came to pick me up. At some point between my leaving the classroom and my mom coming to pick me up, the first tower was struck.

Of course I was completely oblivious to this life changing even that was in progress, as there was no radio or television in the nurse's office and they had left me to myself to wait for my mom. The nurse stepped into her little corner office which was connected to the little exam room. So my mom came and picked me up, mini bathroom trashcan lined with a wal-mart bag lining, if I learned one thing from my mother, never ever ride in a car when you are nauseous without a mini bathroom trashcan with a walmart bag lining, just in case!

My mother and I got into the car and we barely spoke except for her to ask me if I thought I needed to see a doctor or just rest at home. I told her I thought I would be fine resting up at home and not another word was said the entire ride home, which as my husband can attest to, that is BEYOND ABNORMAL for me a my mother. To give you some perspective, I talk to my mother for 30 minutes or more every single day and sometimes I call her up to 5 times a day and she only lives an hour and a half away from me. I remember that during our eerily silent ride in the car she had the radio on, it was our regular station which was a top 40 country type station, except there was no music. Only the DJ solemnly covering the tragedy as it unfolded. I remember them talking about how no one was sure what had happened at the time, there was speculation as to mechanical failures or possibly the pilot had a heart attach or stroke while flying. We got home my mom got me comfortable on the couch, with my mini bathroom trashcan of course! what if you didn't make it to the bathroom in time?

The news was on and I became glued to it, soon after I got home the second tower was struck, and that is when the news media became hysterical and everyone realized that it was an intentional strike. America had been brutally attacked. I remember watching paralyzed when they began to show what they thought was building debris at first, but soon realized that it was people who chose to jump from the windows instead of being burned alive in the blaze, I remember news anchors screaming and crying as this was realized.

I remember the first tower collapsing, and the huge smoke cloud and debris. I remember the terror and absolute heartbreak in the newscaster's voices as we realized the first responders were in the shadow of the towers and many had lost their lives trying to save their fellow Americans.I remember the video footage of the chaos as police, firefighters and EMT trying to regroup only to walk back into the hell that had claimed their brothers.



I remember the second tower collapse, I didn't move, I didn't cry, I just stared completely speechless and numb.

Not long after that, they broke in to announce that the pentagon had been struck and finally the crash in Pennsylvania which was suspected to be intended for the White House.



After that I don't have any clear memories. I know there was news footage for days and months on the progress of search and rescue which turned to recovery and finally rebuilding. I remember the specials on the 9/11 babies, children who will never know their fathers because they weren't even born yet. 

As I read this I realize I remember a lot more than I claim to. Truly 9/11 has been the absolute worst tragedy I have ever experienced in my life, including riding through Hurricane Katrina in Gulfport, MS.

We had a beautiful memorial service at church on Sunday.

I teared up and almost cried. I'm not sure how, when where or why but I have an immense and deep rooted American pride. Every time I hear of a solider going away from his family to serve this country I tear up a little. Every time I hear of a solider coming home from war, I cry, even when they show a soldier being greeted by his dog who has clearly missed him every minute he was gone. I cried in church when the JROTC brought in the colors and I choked up during the pledge of allegience. I have a pride like nothing else when it comes to our country and our people, especially the public servants.

For a small project our friends the Howingtons and McCombs joined us in baking goodies to give to our local service men and women. It was really a great time. We visited two fire houses and a police station, delivering our cookies and expressing our deep gratitude for their service. Suprisingly I did not see any evidence that others had done the same.

The firemen were so sweet, they opened the fire truck up and let the kids climb in a look around. It was really special.

On another note is was an extra special day for us, since recently losing our favorite fireman Asst. Chief David Roberts Sr. we felt his loss even more that day. But we used it in a positive light to honor a great man.

We miss you Grandpa Dave!

College Football...yes ladies, it's back once again

So much to Zachery's delight any my annoyance, college football has returned once again. If you don't know us very well we are die hard University of Southern Mississippi Fans. With both of us being alumni the bond runs even deeper. Being a fan of USM can be quite complicated, and heartwrenching at times. Today's game has made me compare myself to a die hard New Orleans Saints fan, pre-superbowl of course. We watch our beloved black and gold kick itself in the foot more times than we can stand until we just have to change the channel.

Now don't get me wrong. As I know some of my other die hard USM cohorts are reading this. We love our Golden Eagles and eagerly await the day when we are given the recognition we deserve. Our boys work hard and give all they've got, unfortunately it seems that things don't always work out as well as planned for them. Poor Emmie, she has no idea why she will wear black and gold at least once a week every fall, but i can't wait till the day we can teach her to yell SMTTT! Even if I feel a little like finding a paper bag for my head today. :(

If you are not a native Mississippian then you probably only know of Ole Miss (University of Mississippi) and Mississippi State (or just State as we call it) as the colleges of Mississippi. In fact most people in Mississippi can comfortably root on the black and gold without feeling that they have turned on their dawgs or rebels (or are they bears now?). Being that we are not an SEC team most feel that we are not a threat. Just remember if you look in the history books there has been a time when little ole Southern Miss beat up on both our in state SEC rivals. So don't count us out so easily!

Needless to say I have been working hard to try my best to learn some football terminology. I've taken to the philosophy if you can't beat'em, JOIN'EM!

S-OU-THERN, SOUTHERN MISSISSIPPI, U-S-M!