Remembrance

 "Today, our nation saw evil -- the very worst of human nature -- and we responded with the best of America. With the daring of our rescue workers, with the caring for strangers and neighbors who came to give blood and help in any way they could. " - President George W. Bush 9/11/2010

This past Sunday was the 10th Anniversary of attacks on the Twin Towers in New York City, New York, September 11, 2001. Most commonly referred to 9/11.

Many of my friends and family took a few minutes to post recalling the exact moment they learned of the tragedy, where they were and what they were doing. I tend to be one of those people who block out bad memories, so honestly I can only recall a few certain memories of that day. I remember that I was in 10th grade I was 15 years old, only 19 days away from my 16th birthday and it was my first year at a new high school, only a little over a month into the school year. I was sitting in my art elective, with Mrs. McCabe, I remember she was so sweet and quiet she was instantly one of my favorite teachers because she saw how painfully shy I was and she was so kind to me. I remember that she really helped my come out of my shell, through my terrible art, lol. But she never let me give up on my assignments. If you know me at all then you already know that I am so easy to catch a stomach bug. Well that day 10 years ago I'm not sure if it was a stomach bug or just nerves related to the new school year but I got terribly sick in front of the whole class, I know wonderful huh?

I'm not really sure of the timeline but I went to the nurses office and they called my mom and she came to pick me up. At some point between my leaving the classroom and my mom coming to pick me up, the first tower was struck.

Of course I was completely oblivious to this life changing even that was in progress, as there was no radio or television in the nurse's office and they had left me to myself to wait for my mom. The nurse stepped into her little corner office which was connected to the little exam room. So my mom came and picked me up, mini bathroom trashcan lined with a wal-mart bag lining, if I learned one thing from my mother, never ever ride in a car when you are nauseous without a mini bathroom trashcan with a walmart bag lining, just in case!

My mother and I got into the car and we barely spoke except for her to ask me if I thought I needed to see a doctor or just rest at home. I told her I thought I would be fine resting up at home and not another word was said the entire ride home, which as my husband can attest to, that is BEYOND ABNORMAL for me a my mother. To give you some perspective, I talk to my mother for 30 minutes or more every single day and sometimes I call her up to 5 times a day and she only lives an hour and a half away from me. I remember that during our eerily silent ride in the car she had the radio on, it was our regular station which was a top 40 country type station, except there was no music. Only the DJ solemnly covering the tragedy as it unfolded. I remember them talking about how no one was sure what had happened at the time, there was speculation as to mechanical failures or possibly the pilot had a heart attach or stroke while flying. We got home my mom got me comfortable on the couch, with my mini bathroom trashcan of course! what if you didn't make it to the bathroom in time?

The news was on and I became glued to it, soon after I got home the second tower was struck, and that is when the news media became hysterical and everyone realized that it was an intentional strike. America had been brutally attacked. I remember watching paralyzed when they began to show what they thought was building debris at first, but soon realized that it was people who chose to jump from the windows instead of being burned alive in the blaze, I remember news anchors screaming and crying as this was realized.

I remember the first tower collapsing, and the huge smoke cloud and debris. I remember the terror and absolute heartbreak in the newscaster's voices as we realized the first responders were in the shadow of the towers and many had lost their lives trying to save their fellow Americans.I remember the video footage of the chaos as police, firefighters and EMT trying to regroup only to walk back into the hell that had claimed their brothers.



I remember the second tower collapse, I didn't move, I didn't cry, I just stared completely speechless and numb.

Not long after that, they broke in to announce that the pentagon had been struck and finally the crash in Pennsylvania which was suspected to be intended for the White House.



After that I don't have any clear memories. I know there was news footage for days and months on the progress of search and rescue which turned to recovery and finally rebuilding. I remember the specials on the 9/11 babies, children who will never know their fathers because they weren't even born yet. 

As I read this I realize I remember a lot more than I claim to. Truly 9/11 has been the absolute worst tragedy I have ever experienced in my life, including riding through Hurricane Katrina in Gulfport, MS.

We had a beautiful memorial service at church on Sunday.

I teared up and almost cried. I'm not sure how, when where or why but I have an immense and deep rooted American pride. Every time I hear of a solider going away from his family to serve this country I tear up a little. Every time I hear of a solider coming home from war, I cry, even when they show a soldier being greeted by his dog who has clearly missed him every minute he was gone. I cried in church when the JROTC brought in the colors and I choked up during the pledge of allegience. I have a pride like nothing else when it comes to our country and our people, especially the public servants.

For a small project our friends the Howingtons and McCombs joined us in baking goodies to give to our local service men and women. It was really a great time. We visited two fire houses and a police station, delivering our cookies and expressing our deep gratitude for their service. Suprisingly I did not see any evidence that others had done the same.

The firemen were so sweet, they opened the fire truck up and let the kids climb in a look around. It was really special.

On another note is was an extra special day for us, since recently losing our favorite fireman Asst. Chief David Roberts Sr. we felt his loss even more that day. But we used it in a positive light to honor a great man.

We miss you Grandpa Dave!

College Football...yes ladies, it's back once again

So much to Zachery's delight any my annoyance, college football has returned once again. If you don't know us very well we are die hard University of Southern Mississippi Fans. With both of us being alumni the bond runs even deeper. Being a fan of USM can be quite complicated, and heartwrenching at times. Today's game has made me compare myself to a die hard New Orleans Saints fan, pre-superbowl of course. We watch our beloved black and gold kick itself in the foot more times than we can stand until we just have to change the channel.

Now don't get me wrong. As I know some of my other die hard USM cohorts are reading this. We love our Golden Eagles and eagerly await the day when we are given the recognition we deserve. Our boys work hard and give all they've got, unfortunately it seems that things don't always work out as well as planned for them. Poor Emmie, she has no idea why she will wear black and gold at least once a week every fall, but i can't wait till the day we can teach her to yell SMTTT! Even if I feel a little like finding a paper bag for my head today. :(

If you are not a native Mississippian then you probably only know of Ole Miss (University of Mississippi) and Mississippi State (or just State as we call it) as the colleges of Mississippi. In fact most people in Mississippi can comfortably root on the black and gold without feeling that they have turned on their dawgs or rebels (or are they bears now?). Being that we are not an SEC team most feel that we are not a threat. Just remember if you look in the history books there has been a time when little ole Southern Miss beat up on both our in state SEC rivals. So don't count us out so easily!

Needless to say I have been working hard to try my best to learn some football terminology. I've taken to the philosophy if you can't beat'em, JOIN'EM!

S-OU-THERN, SOUTHERN MISSISSIPPI, U-S-M!

"Caught up in a Southern summer, barefoot, blue jean night"

This was Friday. She was so proud of herself, she climbed into Papaw J's chair all by herself!

So this post is sort of an update as to what's going on in our lives currently. I would love to blog more frequently unfortunately I can barely manage to keep up with work, home and relationship. Personally I think it's more important to dedicate time to my family, friends and religion. So as you can tell blogging often falls to the wayside, but i figure if I get one a month I'm doing pretty good, for me anyways.

 I started this post as a draft today which is Friday Sept 9th before Labor Day weekend, I plan to add to it all weekend and post later on. I have taken off yesterday and today from work to give myself a mini vacay. Although for some reason the other night I was wonder if this qualified as a "staycation" they are always promoting. Since we are only 3 hours from home and visiting family. It's nice to have these lazy days, work has been really busy lately, extremely rewarding and challenging but definitely hard work! LOL

I came down to Meme and Papaw J's house (my mom's parents) yesterday around lunchtime. Me and Emmie had a pretty good drive, besides me be horribly bored when Emmie napped, it was a quick simple trip. Then yesterday evening we went to see Ms. Trina and I got my hair cut, which I desperately needed, nothing drastic just back into my old haircut which I was FAR from when I got into the stylist chair. Ms. Trina did a wonderful job as always, it was nice to be in the beauty chair and just chatting with your stylist. I forget how nice that can be, Trina has known me since I was a little girl. She has cut my hair off and on for years, usually when I would visit my Meme. Then of course the years I lived with Meme and Papaw J she was my regular stylist. She even styled my hair for my wedding. She was so happy to see Emily and of course we all talked about how fast time goes, since I know have a little one of my own who is 18 months old, on Sept 8th. Time flies when your having fun right?

Daddy is going to join us on the coast tonight, and then tomorrow is Grammie day (Zach's Mom).

This past week was fun, I found Emily a halloween costume. Here are some preview pictures, we had to try it on to make sure it fit. Amazingly I found it at CrackerBarrel of all places. As Zach will tell you I love halloween, I'm excited to let her dress up. I'm sure people like to say that's very unchristian, but I think it's really harmless to let a child dress in a costume and get some candy once a year. As long as they don't take too much stock in it. But I'm pretty laid back in that manner.

Poor Zach was all worked up last Sunday.
I had a horrible migraine that night and stayed home from bible study and apparently missed an interesting discussion. Now, I must preface this story by saying I was not there and cannot speak to what really happened as this is all hearsay. Also I must say that I'm telling an abbreviated version as I feel that our discussion was private between a couple not really meant to be shared. But the main gist of the issue that had irritated Zachery was that it became apparent to him that there are still members in our church who seem to have certain views of what they see as "proper" worship practices. Now, like I said I don't know what really happened since i wasn't there, but mostly this spurred and discussion between he and I. He wanted to know what I thought of youth programs which entice youth into attendance with games and social events.

My personal opinion is that it doesn't matter how or when you reach a person, but what matters is the message they receive once you have their attention. I think it's important for youth programs to try and reach children on "their level" so to say. It just like reaching a convict while incarcerated, just because someone recieved Christ while incarcerated doesn't mean they are any less a Christian than me or the next person. I think the same thing is similar with today's youth. They are exposed to so much in this world, between the media and their friends why shouldn't we try and introduce religion through alternate matters.

Okay back to Vacation.

Saturday was in fact Grammie's day unfortunately Tropical Storm Lee came to rain on our parade.

There was a large amount of flooding on the coast. I borrowed these pictures from my friend Rachel Reel's facebook to give an example of the local flooding. Thanks Rachel!

We got a late start to the day. We decided to head out and go to lunch with Grammie. We treated her to some Olive Garden in D'iberville. All four of us stuffed ourselved until I swear we could not move anymore! It was so good though, totally worth it.
After our gorging we decided to visit Aunt Athena, Uncle Mike and cousin Jillian. It was a nice visit. The first time the cousins got to meet and the first time. Zach and I also got to see our neice for the first time. Here are some photos Grammie took with her phone, they aren't the best, but it's what we have and you can see everyone. 

Emily was a little jealous if you can't see. She did NOT like her daddy holding any other babies. Zach said, that will make the future interesting whenever we decided to give Emily a sibling. Hopefully we will be able to convince her that daddy holding another baby is not the end of the world.

We visited for an hour or two and then we headed out. The rain was getting worse and Emmie was exhausted. She needed a nap badly. In fact she passed out in the car when we were like 5 minutes away from Aunt Athena's house. Here is a picture I snapped in the car.

The rest of our vacation was really lazy. Sunday we went out and got Emmie some clothes and me some new tennis shoes but that's really it. It was nice to have a lazy weekend.

Emily's School Photos and the beginning of fall...

Isn't she just getting too big? I'm so proud of my little girl.

We are getting back into the swing of things getting ready for the fall. Zach has officially started his new school year as an 8th grad English teacher. Much to my surprise it went much better than I thought it would, his super hard work this summer has paid off apparently.

Emily has moved up in classes again at daycare or "school" as we call it. She is now going outside to play everyday, which we have discovered she needs an extra nap to compensate for all that extra running around, otherwise dinner time is a nightmare!

Also she has become quite attached to mommy these days, she never used to scream or cry when I left her at school, now she gets upset if I give her to Zach for just a minute. It's sweet but can be irritating at times, especially when you need to get something done.

She did the cutest thing this morning though. Darby got out the door past me, which was highly annoying but that's not what was so cute. I told Darby "you are a bad dog!", I looked at Emily and she pointed her little finger at Darby and shook it at him and said "nn- nnoo". She was helping me tell him how bad he was
    being, it was neat to see her make the connection between someone being "bad" and telling them "no".
This weekend is going to be fun! We are going over to our friends the Foster's home to play a new game that they are going to teach us and Emily and their son Derek will have a little play date. I'm excited for that, it's so nice to have those evenings where the grown ups and the kids can have a great time!

Then there are all the fun things we have going on Sunday, shaping up to be a great weekend!

Broken promises and unfufilled expectations

Well guys, in complete opposition to what I blogged earlier. I did not successfully achieve my goal of blogging consistently. So here we go again! LOL

My life is nothing if not multiple do-overs, but I always get the important things right the first time! Besides I fully believe it is the intention of your heart and the furvor with which you pursue your goals which count.
I honestly don't think that at the end of my days there will be a big tally on a cloud white board of all my good and bad deeds, and if I get 5,212 then too bad going to hell.

I know that some people believe that to the fullest and I applaud them for the passion in which they place in all of their beliefs. Sometimes I think people today have lost their passion when it comes to what they truly believe in. When you put your entire being into your faith and completely let go and let God take control of your life. That is when you truly becomes a Christian, that is when we become the followers that God intended for us.

I know I'm getting a bit "preachy" for some but this is on my heart at the moment and it feels so right to get it out and share with the world. Even if only my mother reads this, LOVE YOU MOM!

Karissa and Buzz Deckard recommended that I read a book called "The Shack" by William P. Young, the story chronicles the main character's personal meeting with God. While I have yet to finish the book in it's entirety it has changed by life dramatically and I'm only halfway through.

Whether you choose to believe that the story is fact or fiction I fully recommend to any and all people who may be questioning their relationship with God. I honestly feel that God placed these opportunities in my life so that I could find him again and our relationship together could grow. And it has grown exponentially.

I have to admit that before we moved from Hattiesburg I was hungry, mentally and emotionally I was starving. I love my close friends dearly but we had all drifted through the years and each of us were very busy building our own families. I was starving for social interaction and true friendship. While Zachery did a wonderful job and becoming my lover, friend and confidant...there is only so much a husband can do, I mean how can you complain about stretch marks to your husband, now matter how understanding he won't ever really get it will he? More over there is only so much a reasonable man can take right? I have to give him the highest praise here for if it wasn't for Zachery I probably would have long gone off the deep end for lack of socialization. He's the absolute perfect man for me, two peas in a pod we are. I do love that man!

But back to opportunities, we were presented the opportunity for Zach to teach in Jackson, and while it wasn't ideal we decided to go for it, together. Then we joined Brandon First, met a wonderful Sunday School Class family and our lives have blossomed and grown exponentially daily.

It is very exciting to think that soon, we will have a home to call our own and Emily and her siblings (one day!) will grow up in one house with life long friends like Ann Peyton, Graves, Ainsley, Derek, Austin, Emma, Katie, and Paige.
You just never know what God has planned for our lives, you never know some of us torchbearers could end up in-laws one day! LOL wouldn't that be awesome?!?!?!

" Then you will go on your way in safety, and your foot will not stumble;" Proverbs 3:23

The 9 to 5.....
My office is closed today in honor of Memorial Day. A day to honor all of those who protect and serve our great nation, without whom I would not enjoy the freedoms I have today.

The homefront....
Today is our last day on mini Vaca. We woke up this morning as we had the last few days stumbling out of bed. Zach and I were really spoiled, I felt like we really had a few days to ourselves and came back to our marriage and the true nature of our relationship. We were like newlyweds again, all lovey dovey, It was great. I hate to say it but sometimes work and bills and baby make you forget how much you truly love each other and the true reason you joined in marriage to begin with. After we all got dressed and ate breakfast, Meme wanted to take Emmie to the outlet mall and get her some summer clothes. Of course we got razzed by the men for shopping, my grandpa said "It is impossible for them to get together and not shop!" Then Zach joined in mentioning that we were "training" her to be just like us. But honestly I want her to be just like us, wouldn't that be awesome? We went to the outlet mall and visited Carters, Osh Kosh and the Disney Store. Emmie got some super cute outfits and a stuffed Minnie which she hasn't put down yet! We got home a little after lunch, had a little something to get and then packed up and headed home. Well rather we followed my mom home and got some "home grown" beef then we trekked all the way home. We got home, unpacked had some good ole hot dogs for dinner and called it a night. We both are headed back to work in the morning. On another note, Emily started walking independently this weekend, she probably started Thursday or Friday evening and just kept walking more and more each day. Now she hardly crawls at all!

The Horizon...
work...boo! :(

" I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness. This is good, and pleases God our Savior, who wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth. For there is one God and one mediator between God and mankind, the man Christ Jesus, who gave himself as a ransom for all people. This has now been witnessed to at the proper time. And for this purpose I was appointed a herald and an apostle—I am telling the truth, I am not lying—and a true and faithful teacher of the Gentiles" 1 Timothy 2:1-7

The 9 to 5......
It's Sunday, the day of REST!

The homefront.....
We are still on our mini vaca for Memorial Day weekend, though we have to return home tomorrow. Today was pretty good, I slept in a little I think it was around eight thirty when I woke up. Emmie and Zach of course were already up conversing with everyone in the kitchen. My mom reminded me that if I wanted to go to church I needed to get a shower, so we all took our turns showering and my mom got Emmie dressed for church. Surprisingly I got dressed and ready in time. I was a little worried since I didn't really pack any "church" clothes. My mom and Meme both assured me that what I had on was fine. But I have to admit I did get slightly aggravated when they both came out in really dressy dresses. Unfortunately my manners took a vacation too, because I was not shy about voicing my disappointment in their wardrobe choices. So, sorry mommy! when you read this. Anyways so I once again got my way, and they changed into some less "church" like clothes, so we all kinda matched. I dragged poor Zach along, because...well I'm not really sure why, I would love to say it was for his soul's salvation, but more than likely it was a selfish moment of not wanting to be alone at the time.

Church was nice, not really my speed. I was missing Brother Geoffrey, but I did get the overall message the pastor was trying to convey. Basically don't forget prayer. Which I agree that as christians we often forget the power of prayer, until we need it. We have all seen prayer done wonderful miracles all around us. But how many of us remember prayer when everything is good and going right? Not as many God would like I'm sure. It reminds me of what Daniel said in Sunday school the other day the "CEO" or "Christmas Easter Only" Christians. It really got me to do alot of thinking about my Christian journey and where I need to be so I would say overall, very effective sermon!

We got home and Denise (Gammie) came over to play with Emmie. There was lots of playing and lots of napping. We had a lunch of delicious reheated ribs and then I slept to NASCAR  while Emmie played and I took her afternoon nap on Gammie's lap. Then we had dinner of grilled barbeque chicken and sides. Emmie didn't feel like eating much, I think she ate a few "whales" (knock off goldfish), but that was really all. Then we all crashed for the night.

The Horizon....
Travel home tomorrow :(