Regression

Bringing home your new baby is an exciting and overwhelming experience to say the least. Bringing home your second baby when you have a toddler at home, that is a whole new can of worms. I really thought that all of us were completely prepared for baby Julia to arrive, even Emily. I had no idea just how naive I was being about this process. I have been so worried, angry, frustrated and scared this past week that I finally realized I won't feel any better until I talk it all out. Even if no one ever reads this.

This past week has been particularly challenging in regards to Emily's behavior and the balancing act I now call life. I returned to work this past Monday which in all honestly I thought I would not make it through the day. I have to admit that Monday came and went rather unceremoniously as it usually does. I even managed to keep myself from calling Kate a million times that day. Instead I only texted her once and it was well after lunch. That right there is some sort of miracle in and of itself.

Now up until this past week Emily was only having what I would call minor behavioral issues. I suppose to really understand the issue that is currently brewing in our home you would have to know that Emily has been completely potty trained for at least 3-4 months prior to Julia's birth. I do mean COMPLETELY, no accidents day or night at all, like ever! Now that you have the back story I will proceed. Once we brought Julia home Emily started to have some issues, which we expected and I thought I was prepared for like I said earlier.

At first she started with temper tantrums and crying or pouting at the drop of a hat. For the most part we decided to ignore this behavior when it occurred in hopes it was purely attention seeking and would stop if she did not get the desired results. She also started asking us point blank for attention, usually to the effect of " mommy i need attentions". This I obliged, each time she asked we tried our best to give her a few direct moments. I guess I thought if she was going to ask politely then there was no harm in giving in to her requests. Unfortunately not long after that we began having a problem with back talking and general disrespect of authority figures. I am so embarrassed by this one I mean I find it truly shameful as a parent. This I had to stop immediately, so any instances of this have been met with disciplinary measures. Which to be perfectly honest haven't show a great deal of results to this point which only adds to my frustration and self doubt. I find Emily a difficult child to discipline i have yet to find what truly motivates her. As if this wasn't enough to deal with in our sleep deprived and weary state, she then hit us with the big guns, potty training regression.

*** Now from this point on I will be blatantly discussing potty training issues, so warning there may be some TMI for some people ***

This has been so very difficult, I mean y'all it's been like multiple outfits a day. I have found myself getting so frustrated and even to the point of outright anger towards her behavior. These accidents are not like " I waited too late and didn't get to the bathroom in time" oopsies. It's more like "I'm gonna stand right here in front of the toilet and pee myself, what are you gonna do about it?" I mean like a full bladders worth down into the socks and shoes. To the point that I have no choice but to strip her down and give her a bath. In fact today not only did she pee her pants during naptime ( the soaked socks ad shoes kind) she also pooped her pants, I mean POOPED y'all! This was not like I had a little accident no this was a full "movement" per say in her pants. The worst part is I know she had to be awake because her room was destroyed with toys everywhere from where she had obviously been playing instead if napping. When I found her this way I almost went ape mad. When I asked her why she didn't come tell someone she needed to go potty her answer was " because I did". I mean really? REALLY? I had to bite my lip to avoid spewing out anger that looking back was clearly misplaced and I'm so glad that I didn't unfairly lash out at the poor girl.

I have no idea what to do with that. We had a long talk about how mommy and daddy were disappointed in her behavior. Nothing seems to work lately, she goes back to the same behavior not 5 minutes after being in trouble. I think a good portion of this boils down to Emily's personality, she is a sensitive child with a very sensitive heart. Much like I was as a child I desperately wanted everyone to love me all the time and to please everyone. In some ways like this we are so similar but in others we are so different, I see a strength in her that I myself have never possessed. She is so strong and resilient and I hope I can do my best to nurture these qualities equally so that she becomes the truly extravagant young woman I know she will be. The world needs to look out because Emily is coming! :)